The Gilmore Girls On Coffee
Visit our own virtual Star's Hollow for more coffee quotations from the television series, "The Gilmore Girls".

Well, I've lost my wife. I've lost my job. I've lost 20 MINUTES OF MY LIFE! Damn the decaf. - Hank (Dave Foley), "Twenty Minutes of a Life Lost" (Kids In The Hall sketch)

Drinking coffee is kinda my major hobby... the great benefit of being an actor is you have all this spare time. My ideal is just hanging out with people - I think I am innately lazy - Craig Parker (Haldir in the Lord Of The Rings movies)

I packed coffee once when I lived in Australia, and I just remember going around every day with coffee up my nose and in my ears. - Hugo Weaving, Actor ('The Matrix', 'Lord Of The Rings')

The powers of a man's mind are directly proportioned to the quantity of coffee he drinks - Sir James Mackintosh

Decaffeinated Coffee. It's useless warm brown water. - Heard on David Letterman

Ah! How sweet coffee tastes! Lovelier than a thousand kisses, sweeter far than muscatel wine! -"Coffee Cantata", J.S. Bach

Give a frontiersman coffee and tobacco, and he will endure any privation, suffer any hardship, but let him be without these two necessaries of the woods, and he becomes irresolute and murmuring. - U.S. Army Lt. William Whiting, 1849

Nancy Astor: "If I were your wife, I would put poison in your coffee."
Sir Winston Churchill: "And if I were your husband, I would drink it."

Another head - and a black alpaca jacket and a serviette this time - to tell us coffee is ready. Not before it is time, too. - D. H. Lawrence, Sea and Sardinia.

Black as the devil, hot as hell, pure as an angel, sweet as love. - Talleyrand

Coffee has two virtues. It is wet and it is warm. - Old Dutch saying.

Coffee is the common man's gold, and like gold, it brings to every person the feeling of luxury and nobility. - Sheik Abd-al-Kadir

Coffee is real good when you drink it it gives you time to think. It's a lot more than just a drink; it's something happening. Not as in hip, but like an event, a place to be, but not like a location, but like somewhere within yourself. It gives you time, but not actual hours or minutes, but a chance to be, like be yourself, and have a second cup. - Gertrude Stein

Last comes the beverage of the Orient shore, Mocha, far off, the fragrant berries bore. Taste the dark fluid with a dainty lip, Digestion waits on pleasure as you sip. - Pope Leo XII

A very good drink they call Chaube that is almost as black as ink and very good in illness, especially of the stomach. This they drink in the morning early in the open places before everybody, without any fear or regard, out of clay or China cups, as hot as they can, sipping it a little at a time. - Leonhard Rauwolf

The little campfires, rapidly increasing to hundreds in number, would shoot up along the hills and plains, and as if by magic, acres of territory would be illuminous with them. Soon they would be surrounded by the soldiers, who made it an inevitable rule to cook their coffee first. - John D. Bilings

Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar, and fat. - Alex Levine

Strong coffee, much strong coffee, is what awakens me. Coffee gives me warmth, waking, an unusual force and a pain that is not without very great pleasure. - Napoleon Bonaparte

I would rather suffer with coffee than be senseless. - Napoleon Bonaparte

I do much of my creative thinking while golfing. If people know you're working at home they think nothing of walking in for a cup of coffee, but wouldn't dream of interrupting on the golf course. - Harper Lee

If you want to improve your understanding, drink coffee; it is the intelligent beverage. - Sydney Smith

Wine is for aging, not coffee. - Ken Hutchinson: Starsky and Hutch

I have measured out my life with coffee spoons. - T. S. Elliot

After a few months' acquaintance with European 'coffee' one's mind weakens, and his faith with it, and he begins to wonder if the rich beverage of home, with it's clotted layer of yellow cream on top of it, is not a mere dream after all, and a thing which never existed. - Mark Twain

The morning cup of coffee has an exhilaration about it which the cheering influence of the afternoon or evening cup of tea cannot be expected to reproduce. - Oliver Wendall Holmes, Sr.

Make my coffee like I like my men: hot, black, and strong. - Willona Wood: Good Times

Never drink black coffee at lunch; it will keep you awake in the afternoon. - Jilly Cooper

Coffee, according to the women of Denmark, is to the body what the Word of the Lord is to the soul. - Isak Dinesen

Coffee: we can get it anywhere, and get as loaded as we like on it, until such teeth-chattering, eye-bulging, nonsense-gibbering time as we may be classified unable to operate heavy machinery. - Joan Frank

The discovery of coffee has enlarged the realm of illusion and given more promise to hope. - Isidore Bourdon

If it wasn't for coffee, I'd have no discernible personality at all. - David Letterman

You make good coffee . . . You're a slob, but you make good coffee. - Cher: Moonstruck

See how special you are? I serve you coffee in the parlor. - Anthony Quinn

Why don't you have a cup of coffee at least? I, um, I'm a little low in sugar and I don't have any cream, but it's real coffee. - Barbara Streisand

I never laugh until I've had my coffee. - Clark Gable

Thank you for your coffee, seignor. I shall miss that when we leave Casablanca. - Ingrid Bergman

The first cup is for the guest, the second for enjoyment, the third for the sword. - An old Arabic saying.

People are kind of like zombies in Hong Kong nowadays. You don't see that glow anymore. In terms of colour Hong Kong looks a bit grey. To counter that, I think we should give out free espresso samples to give people more caffeine; triple espresso with Irish cream syrup, iced! People just need to get a bit more wired. - David Wu

Compared to Clinton, I feel like a loser. I can't even get the intern to make me coffee! - David Letterman

Coffee should be black as Hell, strong as death, and sweet as love. - Turkish Proverb

A certain Liquor which they call Coffee...which will soon intoxicate the brain. - G. W. Parry (1601)

Coffee leads men to trifle away their time, scald their chops, and spend their money, all for a little base, black, thick, nasty, bitter, stinking nauseous puddle water. - The Women's Petition Against Coffee (1674)

Moderately drunk, coffee removes vapours from the brain, occasioned by fumes of wine, or other strong liquors; eases pains in the head, prevents sour belchings, and provokes appetite. - England's Happiness Improved (1699)

In a word, coffee is the drunkard's settle-brain, the fool's pastime, who admires it for being the production of Asia, and is ravished with delight when he hears the berries grow in the deserts of Arabia, but would not give a farthing for a hogshead of it, if it were to be had on Hampstead Heath or Banstead-Downs.... - Thomas Tryon, The Good Hous-Wife Made a Doctor

The best Maxim I know in this life is, to drink your Coffee when you can, and when you cannot, to be easy without it. While you continue to be splenetic, count upon it I will always preach. Thus much I sympathise with you that I am not cheerful enough to write, for I believe Coffee once a week is necessary to that. - Jonathan Swift

For lo! the board with cups and spoons is crowned/The berries crackle, and the mill turns round ... At once they gratify their scent and taste/And frequent cups prolong the rich repast... Coffee (which makes the politician wise/And see through all things with his half-shut eyes). - Alexander Pope (1688-1744)

It is the duty of all papas and mammas to forbid their children to drink coffee, unless they wish to have little dried-up machines, stunted and old at the age of twenty....] once saw a man in London, in Leicester Square, who had been crippled by immoderate indulgence in coffee; he was no longer in any pain, having grown accustomed to his condition, and had cut himself down to five or six cups a day. - Jean-Anthelme Brillat-Savarin

It is disgusting to note the increase in the quantity of coffee used by my subjects and the amount of money that goes out of the country in consequence. Everybody is using coffee. If possible this must be prevented. My people must drink beer. His Majesty was brought up on beer, and so were his officers. Many battles have been fought and won by soldiers nourished on beer; and the King does not believe that coffee-drinking soldiers can be depended upon to endure hardships or to beat his enemies in case of ... another war. - Frederick the Great

Suave molecules of Mocha stir up your blood, without causing excess heat; the organ of thought receives from it a feeling of sympathy; work becomes easier and you will sit down without distress to your principal repast which will restore your body and afford you a calm, delicious night. - Prince Tallyrand

Coffee as drunk in England, debilitates the stomach, and produces a slight nausea ... it is usually made from bad Coffee, served out tepid and muddy, and drowned in a deluge of water. - William Kitchiner, MD (1775-1827)

Coffee, though a useful medicine, if drunk constantly will at length induce a decay of health , and hectic fever. - Jesse Torrey, The Moral Instructor (1879)

If this is coffee, then please-bring me some tea. But if this is tea, please bring me some coffee. - Abraham Lincoln (1809-1865)

Coffee: Induces wit. Good only if it comes through Havre. After a big dinner party it is taken standing up. Take it without sugar -- very swank: gives the impression you have lived in the East. - Gustave Flaubert (1821-1880)

As soon as coffee is in your stomach, there is a general commotion. Ideas begin to move...similes arise, the paper is covered Coffee is your ally and writing ceases to be a struggle. - Honoré de Balzac (1799-1859)

It is true, says Liebeg, that thousands have lived without a knowledge of tea and coffee; and daily experience teaches us that, under certain circumstances, they may be dispensed with without disadvantage to the merely animal functions, but it is an error, certainly, to conclude from this that they may be altogether dispensed with in reference to their effects; and It is a question whether, if we had no tea and no coffee, the popular instinct would not seek for and discover the means of replacing them.... - Isabella Beeton (1861)

You can tell when you have crossed the frontier into Germany because of the badness of the coffee. - Edward VII (1841-1910)

Coffee has two virtues: it is wet and warm. - Dutch Proverb

Persons drinking coffee, as a general rule, eat less, though coffee, and also tea, have little direct food value; but they retard the waste of the tissues, and so take the place of food. - Maria Parloa, The Appledore Cookbook (1881)

Physicians say that coffee without cream is more wholesome, particularly for persons of weak digestion. There seems to be some element in the coffee which combined with the milk, forms a leathery coating on the stomach, and impairs digestion. - The Buckeye Cookbook (1883)

The morning cup of Café Nair is an integral part of the life of a Creole household. The Creoles hold as a physiological fact that this custom contributes to longevity, and point, day after day, to examples of old men and women of fourscore, and over, who attest to the powerful aid they have received through life from a good, fragrant cup of coffee in the early morning. - The Picayune Creole Cook Book (1901)

In most households a cup of coffee is considered the one thing needful at the breakfast hour. But how often this exhilarating beverage, that "comforteth the brain and heateth and helpeth digestion" is made muddy and ill-flavoured! ... You may roast the berries "to the queen's taste," and grind them fresh every morning, and yet, if the golden liquid be not prepared in the most immaculate of coffee-pots, with each return of morning, a new disappointment awaits you. - Janet McKenzie Hill, Practical Cooking And Serving (1902)

Coffee in England is just toasted milk. - Christopher Fry

Actually, this seems to be the basic need of the human heart in nearly every great crisis -- a good hot cup of coffee. - Alexander King

Good coffee may come from Arabia or India, from the Blue Mountains of Jamaica, or via France with an admixture of chicory; but its flavor and excellence will be derived from daily careful roasting and grinding, a truism universally admitted and habitually disregarded. - Lady Jekyll, D.B.E.

Coffee in Brazil is always made fresh and, except at breakfast time, drunk jet black from demitasses first filled almost to the brim with the characteristic moist, soft coffee sugar of the country, which melts five times as fast as our hard granulated. For breakfast larger cups are used, and they're more than half filled with cream. This cafe con leite doesn't require so much sugar as cafe preto -- black coffee. - Cora, Rose, and Bob Brown, The South American Cook Book (1939)

English coffee tastes like water that has been squeezed out of a wet sleeve. - Fred Allen (1894-1956)

Black coffee must be strong and very hot; if strong coffee does not agree with you, do not drink black coffee. And if you do not drink black coffee, do not drink any coffee at all. - Andre Simon

During the war one accepted indifferent after-dinner coffee as a necessity, but when, after the war, one sought to find the coffee remembered of days gone by, one found disappointment. I was looking for the rich after-dinner coffee that literally curdled cream if anyone was foolish enough to spoil it with cream. - Constance Spry, The Constance Spry Cookery Book (1956)

Nescafé no es café. (Instant coffee is not coffee.) -- Mexican saying

It was one of those mornings when a man could face the day only after warming himself with a mug of thick coffee beaded with steam, a good thick crust of bread, and a bowl of bean soup. - Richard Gehman, The Haphazard Gourmet (1966)

Sugar is always served with coffee [in France], usually in large lumps, and it is not bad manners--though certainly informal and not to be done at a luncheon or dinner party--to dip the corner of a lump of sugar into the coffee and then eat it. To do so is to 'faire le canard.' - Pamela Vandyke Price, France for the Gourmet Traveller (1974)

Coffee, which makes the politician wise, And see through all things with his half-shut eyes. - Alexander Pope

Good communication is as stimulating as black coffee, and just as hard to sleep after. - Anne Morrow Lindbergh

A mathematician is a machine for turning coffee into theorems. - Paul Erdos

The morning cup of coffee has an exhiliration about it which the cheering influence of the afternoon or evening cup of tea cannot be expected to reproduce. - Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr.

It is extraordinary how the house and the simplest possessions of someone who has been left become so quickly sordid. . . . Even the stain on the coffee cup seems not coffee but the physical manifestation of one's inner stain, the fatal blot that from the beginning had marked one for ultimate aloneness. - Coleman Dowell

It's just like when you've got some coffee that's too black, which means it's too strong. What do you do? You integrate it with cream, you make it weak. But if you pour too much cream in it, you won't even know you ever had coffee. It used to be hot, it becomes cool. It used to be strong, it becomes weak. It used to wake you up, now it puts you to sleep. - Malcolm X

We shall prepare the coffee of reconciliation through the filter of justice. Through reconciliation, streams of tears will come to our eyes. - Jean-Bertrand Aristide, Haitian president

For fifteen days I struggled to prove that no functions analogous to those I have since called Fuchsian functions could exist; I was then very ignorant. Every day I sat down at my work table where I spent an hour or two; I tried a great number of combinations and arrived at no result. One evening, contrary to my custom, I took black coffee; I could not go to sleep; ideas swarmed up in clouds; I sensed them clashing until, to put it so, a pair would hook together to form a stable combination. By morning I had established the existence of a class of Fuchsian functions, those derived from the hypergeometric series. I had only to write up the results which took me a few hours. - Henri Poincare, "Science et Methode"

Coffee makes us severe, and grave, and philosophical. - Jonathan Swift, 1722

The use of [coffee] will probably become greatly extended -- as in other countries, it may diffuse itself among the mass of the people, and make a considerable ingredient in their daily sustenance. - Benjamin Moseley, 1785

In a sad world, and especially in a country like ours, recently and constitutionally deprived of wine ... the function of coffee in bringing serene delight is an important one. - Boston Transcript, 1923

Just around the corner,
There's a rainbow in the sky.
So let's have another cup o' coffee,
And let's have another piece o' pie.
- Irving Berlin, 1932

Coffee is our national misfortune. - Brazilian coffee grower, 1934

Coffee has ... expand[ed] humanity's working-day from twelve to a potential twenty-four hours. The tempo, the complexity, the tension of modern life, call for something that can perform the miracle of stimulating brain activity, without evil, habit-forming after-effects. - Margaret Meagher, "To Think of Coffee," 1942

Over second and third cups flow matters of high finance, high state, common gossip and low comedy. [Coffee] is a social binder, a warmer of tongues, a soberer of minds, a stimulant of wit, a foiler of sleep if you want it so. From roadside mugs to the classic demi-tasse, it is the perfect democrat. - The New York Times, 1949

I believe that the American coffee industry is doing itself irreparable harm by mass marketing mediocre coffee at a low price. I think that what is happening today in the coffee business is just a foreshadowing of the eventual indifference of the total American public to the world of coffee drinking. - Edward Bransten,1969

The voodoo priest and all his powders were as nothing compared to espresso, cappuccino, and mocha, which are stronger than all the religions of the world combined, and perhaps stronger than the human soul itself. - Mark Helprin, Memoir from Antproof Case, 1995

Coffee is turning out to be quite a cosmic issue -- and the way it's grown, marketed, and consumed has implications for the environmental health of the world. - Russell Greenberg, Director, Smithsonian Migratory Bird Center, 1996

We would take something old and tired and common -- coffee -- and weave a sense of romance and community around it. We would rediscover the mystique and charm that had swirled around coffee throughout the centuries. - Howard Schutz, CEO of Starbucks, 1997

Coffee falls into the stomach ... ideas begin to move,
things remembered arrive at full gallop ... the shafts
of wit start up like sharp-shooters, similies arise,
the paper is covered with ink ... - Honore de Balzac

Coffee, Jamaican blend, double-strong, double-sweet. - O'Brien: Star Trek DS9

Coffee? No thanks, one more cup & *I'll* jump to warp. - Captain Janeway, Star Trek: Voyager

Computer, coffee, hot. In a cup this time! - Captain Janeway, Star Trek: Voyager

The powers of a man's mind are directly proportioned to the quantity of coffee he drinks. - Sir James Mackintosh

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